Do These 3 Things, and Enjoy Significantly Better Relationships!

Most relationship challenges don’t start with the other person—they start with us. Not because we are the problem, but because our stories, unprocessed emotions, and lack of self-love shape how we experience connection. The good news? If we shift what’s happening inside, our relationships change dramatically. If you want healthier, deeper, and more fulfilling relationships, focus on these three things:

1. Stay With Yourself When You Feel Big Emotions

Emotions are messengers, not enemies. But let’s be real—sometimes they feel overwhelming. When things get heated, it’s easy to check out, blame someone else, or shut down completely. But here’s the thing: abandoning yourself in these moments only creates more disconnection.

Instead, try staying with yourself. Take a deep breath. Notice what’s happening inside you. Be curious instead of judgmental. When you can sit with your feelings instead of running from them, they pass more quickly, and you don’t end up saying or doing things you regret. The best part? You start to feel safe within yourself, which makes vulnerability with others feel natural instead of terrifying.

2. Challenge the Stories You Tell Yourself

Let’s be honest—most of our relationship struggles aren’t about what’s actually happening; they’re about the meaning we attach to what’s happening.

We tell ourselves things like:

• “They don’t care about me.”

• “I’m not enough.”

• “They’re doing this on purpose to hurt me.”

And once we believe these stories, we start looking for proof that they’re true. But what if they’re not? What if your partner’s silence isn’t rejection? What if your friend’s short response isn’t personal? What if that gut-punch feeling isn’t reality but an old wound asking to be healed?

When you pause and challenge these thoughts, you stop reacting from old pain and start seeing the situation for what it really is. This shift alone can completely change the way you show up in your relationships.

3. Actually Feel Love for Yourself

Most of us know self-love is important, but let’s go deeper. It’s not just about saying nice things to yourself or treating yourself to a spa day. It’s about learning to actually feel love in your body.

When you can sit in the energy of love—when you can generate warmth, care, and kindness for yourself—you stop seeking it so desperately from others. You stop making up painful stories that leave you feeling unworthy. And your emotions don’t hijack you nearly as often.

Loving yourself in this way isn’t just a nice idea—it’s foundational for every relationship you have. When you’re full from within, you naturally bring more ease, connection, and joy into all of your interactions.

The Truth: Love is at the Core

If you can give love to yourself, you won’t make up as many painful stories. If you stop buying into old stories, your emotions won’t control you. And when your emotions flow freely, relationships become so much easier.

Your relationships are a mirror, reflecting what’s happening inside you. When you cultivate presence with your emotions, challenge your thoughts, and learn to generate love from within, you’ll see those shifts reflected back in every connection you have.

Want to go deeper? Check out my classes at SimplyRelatable.com and learn how to create the relationships you actually want.